I might die and be injured, get the point. die and lose control. or else.
i know i can’t but i must get under control. process is normal, but overall
i am distracted when other alcoholics make it seem like i can’t do it alone.
i think i can, and i will. but if i don’t then i’ll be paranoid i needed support. am.
however, nothing more.

Um….shrapit dosha…I see…

I DON’T KNOW WHY, BUT I NEED A CRYPTOPUNK WIDGET.
I NEED IT B/C I AM ME AND I WANT IT.

My life. What will I do? How will I survive? How can I be so aloof about my predicament? Yesterday, my therapist told me about the ‘cherished myth’ – the things we tell ourselves; the stories we create about ourselves. Have I built any sand-castles? I destroy all my artwork. Perhaps the two things are related.

I had a dream last night. The large window in the TV room where I could see wind and rain outside. I did notice in the distance, the road behind was bright and sunny. The racing horses carried a wagon. The wagon was followed by a single horse tied by the reins. This horse was in distress it seemed and eventually could not maintain the speed led by the fleet of horses ahead of the wagon. It fell to the ground and was being dragged along. What a horror to see this. I went to investigate and noticed a university in the vicinity. Two large identical dinosaur-like and turtle-like creatures passed me by. They might have been dangerous carnivores being domesticated or educated. Suddenly I was among a school of cute creatures, but I don’t remember much about this.

I continue to write poorly.

Has anybody else noticed that tech stocks are soaring since the start of the pandemic back in Late February/March 2020? It’s not just tech, but whatever. I haven’t really read much in the mainstream media regarding this coincidence. It’s not really that unexpected given that the whole idea of virtual existence is perfectly suited for a situation like this. We already know how speculative the market is, but now a substantial reason for the hype. New companies like Zoom, Shopify, Zillow are booming since the pandemic began. Hell, even Bitcoin is surging. The pandemic has allowed investors to see the light in their hollow minds.